As old and new Philosophoclers alike settle on campus, I would like to take the opportunity to welcome our new exchange students!

The whole campus is excited. The past few days, we have been poring over the meager biographies they have proffered us; Sygoh, who studies Psychology, has been inferring their personality types; and the Housers have been staying up in the evenings trying to fit them into the dorms.

We first thought to put all the exchange students in Modern Grey—the new, air-conditioned dorm—but the Uniformists protested, saying that it made the new students Stand Out, and besides, don’t Philosophocle students deserve the best of our Housing? Furthermore, putting all the exchange students together would reduce opportunities for cultural assimilation and increase the risk of tribalism. Is not an exchange program the best time for personal growth?

Thus the Housers have unanimously agreed to put Brian, who wants the “authentic Philosophocler experience” and is “up for anything,” in the top¹ floor of Riversky, the old, run-down dorm farthest from central campus. The Housers traditionally give higher priority for Riversky to those who get a grade of M- in one of their classes (“Needing a moral education”).

Each exchange student has been assigned a Shadow. (We first thought to call them Friends or Buddies, but Lukko pointed out: what if it is not a friend that the students need, but a rival or a critic? Moreover, an assigned friend is unnecessary when there is a healthy economy for friends—be sure to nab your “free friend” card at the Ideologies Fair.) Onto a Shadow, however, one can project both one’s innermost desires and deepest fears.

A reminder to our Shadows: Please resist the natural urge to force your religion onto the exchange student, and give them freedom of religious choice. It is better for them to choose their own religion and be your enemy, then for you to choose it for them and become their friend! Do not forget that the lack of a decision is itself a choice.